Showing posts with label Months 3-6. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Months 3-6. Show all posts
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Six Month Photo Shoot!
I'm super excited about these amazing 6 month family photo's that my great friend Laura Ramos took about a month ago. Her and her husband mainly shoot weddings (but do families, maternity, birth and more!) and are fabulous photographers, so I definitely recommend them if you are looking for someone! Check them out: Fuse Photographic
Friday, March 22, 2013
No-Nap Risden
Oh my gosh, I have to vent for half a minute. Nap time has now become the hardest part of my day!! Risden went from being really predictable and taking three naps a day at the same time to complete chaos. Although they were short, at least I knew when he was tired and I could lay him down and he would fall asleep on his own pretty quickly. I don't know if it's a normal thing as he approaches the five month mark, but suddenly nap time has become such a struggle! Now, no matter how tired he is, almost every time I put him down he screams and cries for as long as I leave him in there. I am determined not to give in and let him play instead of nap, so sometimes these sessions last up to an hour, it's so hard! Also, no matter how hard I try, I cannot get him to sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time during the day. I get so frustrated when everywhere I read, they state that 45 minutes is too short, and he should be sleeping for at least 1-2 hours at a time. I wish someone would come to my house and teach Risden how to nap this long, because I do not think it is possible.
The thing is, I probably need to chill out and stop comparing him to what the blogs and books say he should be doing. He sleeps up to 13 hours at night and is pretty active and happy when he is awake. If we are down to two 45 minute naps a day (I know....crazy little) but is happy and sleeping well at night, then I should probably relax, right?
Oh baby sleep, I had no idea how hard all of this would be for me!
Oh the up side, we just found out that Hope and Ben (Judd's sister and her husband) are having a girl!! Risden is going to have a girl cousin in August!
Napping out on a walk (because he boycotted his first nap of the day):
The thing is, I probably need to chill out and stop comparing him to what the blogs and books say he should be doing. He sleeps up to 13 hours at night and is pretty active and happy when he is awake. If we are down to two 45 minute naps a day (I know....crazy little) but is happy and sleeping well at night, then I should probably relax, right?
Oh baby sleep, I had no idea how hard all of this would be for me!
Oh the up side, we just found out that Hope and Ben (Judd's sister and her husband) are having a girl!! Risden is going to have a girl cousin in August!
Napping out on a walk (because he boycotted his first nap of the day):
Monday, March 4, 2013
Blowing Raspberries
Blowing raspberries with Risden is our newest and most amusing game yet. Turns out it is hugely valuable in his language development! (Raspberries and spit bubbles aren't just drooly fun - they're good for developing babies)
When are you going back to work?
I figured I should get back around to answering the question I am asked all the time, "when are you going back to work?"
It seems a little funny how much I am asked this, especially considering I wasn't really working before Risden arrived. For about a year before I got pregnant I was working as a contractor at a great, small architecture firm in Boulder. I love the people I was able to work with, and really enjoyed the work. Plus the 5 minute bike commute wasn't bad either! All in all, I loved using my Masters of Architecture degree and I loved the flexible environment. This was the perfect job I thought that would allow me to work flexible, part-time hours once the baby arrived. Unfortunately, the really bad architecture market caught up to our little firm shortly after I found out I was pregnant, and I found myself without work. Roughly four months pregnant, Judd and I decided that me finding and starting a new job wasn't worth it.
The last few months before Risden was born were hard, but really good. Having functioned most of my life striving to cram as much stuff and accomplishments into every day, I was due for a break, and a slower lifestyle. I was forced to relax and not find my identity in the work I did, or the money I had to show for it. Judd, being the most supportive and amazing husband imaginable, encouraged me every day to believe that I was simply enough. Slowly I was able to relax, find peace in a quieter and slower day, and got a lot of great things done around the house in preparation for little man's arrival. The whole time though, I kept telling myself that maybe, just maybe, things would pick back up at the firm and I'd be back in the work force just as soon as any other working mom out there would be.
Six weeks, eight weeks, three months and now four months post-baby have come and gone, and I am still not "back to work." I have so many mixed emotions about this. On one hand, I see the lull in my work before Risden's arrival as the perfect reason for me to take advantage of this time and continue to bond with him. I mean really, I haven't even come close to getting tired of him. I love everything about that little guy, especially most recently when he giggles and smiles all the time, and has started to try and imitate us in small ways. By the time he goes to sleep I am so intensely exhausted because he is a lot of work and difficult at times, but mostly because I love playing with him most of the day. I also have full support from Judd to stay home all day with Risden. He has an awesome, solid job, and is more than happy to work every day so that I can be with the little guy.
What's the problem then, right? I just can't seem to shake this feeling that I should be doing more. All around me are awesome mom's who not only seem to be raising their kids really well, but they also have great, flexible part-time jobs. I am envious. I wish I had something lined up, but I don't. I wish I could practice architecture, but even in a good market this would be hard to practice part-time.
I have to ask myself where the root of this issue lies. Do I want to be an awesome mom and have a sweet career so that I can show the world how good I am at doing everything simultaneously? Yes, I am so incredibly insecure that I think the praise from others will solve all of my problems. Am I scared to death that Risden (and any other additional kids we may have) will grow up and go on to college someday, leaving me home, with no career to keep me busy? Definitely. Do I really want to practice architecture right now? I'm not sure. Is it more about keeping up an image? Maybe.
Maybe I am sitting here, writing this, as a mom. And a wife. And my job is to be a house-maker. For now, maybe not forever, but maybe for awhile. I do wholeheartedly want to have a career again, someday, but maybe that day is not today and maybe it won't even be for a few years. And maybe I need to break up with that pesky thing called "guilt" (and "fear", and "comparison", and "insecurity") that continues to show up at my door.
So to answer the question of when I plan to go back to work, to that I am not sure, but it might be awhile.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Four Months!
Risden turned four months a few days ago, I can't believe it! This past month has been by far the best so far. Risden has gone from a sleepy little dude who didn't give us much in response to anything, to a fun, interactive, smiling and giggling little bundle of joy. If this past month is any indication into his budding personality, I'd say he's a super chill, happy, and pretty easy to please little guy. Now that he is sleeping longer periods (relief!!) I am actually able to absorb and enjoy this sweet time. He has also fallen into a pretty predictable schedule, so I know when are good times to get out, and when it's better to give him a nap in his crib. Looking back to when he slept all of the time, I would have thought I would have less freedom now, when he can't do this as easily, but it's exactly the opposite. Although it is true that he does not easily fall asleep anywhere anymore, at least now I have a pretty good idea of when and how to make him happy. Before it was really sort of a shit-show a lot of the time. He would sleep a lot, but if he awoke and was a) in his car seat, b) hungry (which was all of the time) or c) unhappy for any number of reasons, he was super hard to handle. All of this said, I risked a breakdown every time I left the house. Now I know when I can leave the house and almost guarantee he'll be a happy camper. This is major progress for which I am so thankful. The only problem, however, is that Mr. R takes three naps a day, each about 45 minutes long. So, it's hard to do a whole lot within an hour and a half window. I am excited for him to grow and his periods of wakefulness to stretch and for his naps to become consolidated. As long as we are sleeping at night though, I can not complain :)
Here are some of his Four Month pictures!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Unforeseen Struggle
I'm not really sure where to start this post, but I have this nagging feeling that I need to write something.
Although Risden is by far the best thing that has ever happened to Judd and I, I want to be honest in sharing that this road has not been easy. It's so simple to post adorable pictures of him on Facebook and let the world assume that this parenting stuff is a walk in the park. Coming into parenting, I figured that of all people, I was surely cut out for this, and because of my motherly instinct, it really would be a walk in the park.
The sleep stuff was (and still is) hard. Thank goodness we have made some real progress in this house, otherwise I think I would be on the verge of insanity (haha, laughing, but sort of crying). After trying numerous combinations of different routines, etc, we finally found something that is working for us. It is important for me to remember that this is working for us, now, but it may not work forever, and it may not work for anyone else. Because I was afraid of not answering Risden's cry's when he was hungry for the first few months, I would feed him on-demand, around the clock. This resulted in him wanting to "snack" every 1-2 hours. Because he was getting such small, frequent meals throughout the day (and my body was set-up to supply him with these small bursts), he could only go up to 4 hours at night between feedings.
After discussing our situation with Judd's mom (who conveniently happens to be a lactation specialist!) and his cousin who has tons of experience in sleep training, we came to a possible solution. Last week I started pumping after every feeding, to build up a small supply, up to 5oz of breast milk that I would feed Risden right before bed, after he nursed. Jackpot. The first night he slept a remarkable 9 and a half hours! It seems that something in his brain clicked and he realized he could sleep this long, because since then he has slept anywhere from a 7-12 hour stretch at night, only waking for one feeding between 3 and 5 and then sleeping until 7:30 or 8:30. Coming from the baby that seemed starving every 2-4 hours, this is huge.
I also do believe that a large reason he is able to stay in his crib, happy, for these long stretches is because of how adamant Judd and I have been on teaching him to fall asleep in his crib. Of all the sleep books out there (there are a lot, and it is very overwhelming), we believe Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. to be one of the best. This book teaches to look for your baby's sleepy signs and get them to their crib within a small window. It is important to establish a sleep routine, so that your baby starts to recognize that when certain things happen, it is time for sleep (i.e. turning on a sound machine, closing the blinds, swaddling, rocking, etc). He also emphasizes how important it is to put your baby down drowsy, but not asleep. This way the baby starts to recognize that their crib is where they fall asleep, and that they will not be startled or scared when they wake up here in the middle of the night. I guarantee Risden wakes up more than a few times in the middle of the night (sometimes we hear him make a few quick cries), but he almost always falls back to sleep on his own. His ability to self sooth is priceless and worth all of the hard up-front work.
Ironically I started this post earlier today and I now am sitting down to finish it, a few hours after we finally got Risden to bed. I say finally because tonight, unlike every other night for the past few weeks, Risden woke up frantically crying an hour after we put him down. After both Judd and I tried to sooth him for over an hour, he finally went down for good, but not without me losing all confidence I had in having figured out his sleep patterns. Tonight reminds me of a very important lesson I am currently learning in parenting - I need to be careful to never become proud and think I have all the answers. Just two weeks ago when I felt like we had hit rock bottom with the sleep-stuff, I was ready to pick a fight with anyone who told me their baby was sleeping through the night. And now, suddenly I find myself on the other side of the fence (or at least for now). After so much hard work, my first reaction is to celebrate and sing from the top of a mountain. But I have to hold back, because a) I do NOT have it all figured out, even if a few days make me feel as if I could possibly, and b) I do not want to be insensitive to other hard-working parents who find themselves in a similar position to where I was just a few days ago (and undoubtedly will be many more times over).
This parenting stuff is hard because there is not one way to do things. And something what works flawlessly for one family will probably not work for another. Every baby is different, even if all of the books try to paint them the same. And, every parenting style is different and I want to respect and appreciate this. I have found myself comparing Risden to other babies, and the things Judd and I do, to other parents. I am reminded of the phrase "comparison is thief of joy" and this statement could not be more true. I want to find myself in community rather than competition. I had no idea coming into motherhood that these things would ever cross my mind, but here they have. Ahh, and so I fight on for a more tender heart and to compare less.
And I thought I would throw in an adorable picture anyway...
Although Risden is by far the best thing that has ever happened to Judd and I, I want to be honest in sharing that this road has not been easy. It's so simple to post adorable pictures of him on Facebook and let the world assume that this parenting stuff is a walk in the park. Coming into parenting, I figured that of all people, I was surely cut out for this, and because of my motherly instinct, it really would be a walk in the park.
The sleep stuff was (and still is) hard. Thank goodness we have made some real progress in this house, otherwise I think I would be on the verge of insanity (haha, laughing, but sort of crying). After trying numerous combinations of different routines, etc, we finally found something that is working for us. It is important for me to remember that this is working for us, now, but it may not work forever, and it may not work for anyone else. Because I was afraid of not answering Risden's cry's when he was hungry for the first few months, I would feed him on-demand, around the clock. This resulted in him wanting to "snack" every 1-2 hours. Because he was getting such small, frequent meals throughout the day (and my body was set-up to supply him with these small bursts), he could only go up to 4 hours at night between feedings.
After discussing our situation with Judd's mom (who conveniently happens to be a lactation specialist!) and his cousin who has tons of experience in sleep training, we came to a possible solution. Last week I started pumping after every feeding, to build up a small supply, up to 5oz of breast milk that I would feed Risden right before bed, after he nursed. Jackpot. The first night he slept a remarkable 9 and a half hours! It seems that something in his brain clicked and he realized he could sleep this long, because since then he has slept anywhere from a 7-12 hour stretch at night, only waking for one feeding between 3 and 5 and then sleeping until 7:30 or 8:30. Coming from the baby that seemed starving every 2-4 hours, this is huge.
I also do believe that a large reason he is able to stay in his crib, happy, for these long stretches is because of how adamant Judd and I have been on teaching him to fall asleep in his crib. Of all the sleep books out there (there are a lot, and it is very overwhelming), we believe Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. to be one of the best. This book teaches to look for your baby's sleepy signs and get them to their crib within a small window. It is important to establish a sleep routine, so that your baby starts to recognize that when certain things happen, it is time for sleep (i.e. turning on a sound machine, closing the blinds, swaddling, rocking, etc). He also emphasizes how important it is to put your baby down drowsy, but not asleep. This way the baby starts to recognize that their crib is where they fall asleep, and that they will not be startled or scared when they wake up here in the middle of the night. I guarantee Risden wakes up more than a few times in the middle of the night (sometimes we hear him make a few quick cries), but he almost always falls back to sleep on his own. His ability to self sooth is priceless and worth all of the hard up-front work.
Ironically I started this post earlier today and I now am sitting down to finish it, a few hours after we finally got Risden to bed. I say finally because tonight, unlike every other night for the past few weeks, Risden woke up frantically crying an hour after we put him down. After both Judd and I tried to sooth him for over an hour, he finally went down for good, but not without me losing all confidence I had in having figured out his sleep patterns. Tonight reminds me of a very important lesson I am currently learning in parenting - I need to be careful to never become proud and think I have all the answers. Just two weeks ago when I felt like we had hit rock bottom with the sleep-stuff, I was ready to pick a fight with anyone who told me their baby was sleeping through the night. And now, suddenly I find myself on the other side of the fence (or at least for now). After so much hard work, my first reaction is to celebrate and sing from the top of a mountain. But I have to hold back, because a) I do NOT have it all figured out, even if a few days make me feel as if I could possibly, and b) I do not want to be insensitive to other hard-working parents who find themselves in a similar position to where I was just a few days ago (and undoubtedly will be many more times over).
This parenting stuff is hard because there is not one way to do things. And something what works flawlessly for one family will probably not work for another. Every baby is different, even if all of the books try to paint them the same. And, every parenting style is different and I want to respect and appreciate this. I have found myself comparing Risden to other babies, and the things Judd and I do, to other parents. I am reminded of the phrase "comparison is thief of joy" and this statement could not be more true. I want to find myself in community rather than competition. I had no idea coming into motherhood that these things would ever cross my mind, but here they have. Ahh, and so I fight on for a more tender heart and to compare less.
And I thought I would throw in an adorable picture anyway...
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